king of the world

Well, I will wake up with my lights on because this feeling is all I've got.
So, give me five more minutes and, I swear, I'll be - King of the World.

And, of all the shapes that I've taken on, I swear, I like this one the best.
Suicide in hand and I look back at all my names; I swear, I like this one the best.

"I know that you said you could never go home
Well I hope you know that that is not your fault.

"So, as you watch all you dreams roll by and the road you're on, folded up and gone.
Just know that I could be just like you, but still know there's a better way out.

"I know that you said you could never go home
Well I hope you know that that is not your fault.

It's okay...it's okay.

Heroes

We may have gone wrong.

There - smoking thin cigarette, snorting fine powder, wearing tight-fit navy blue and thin tie, working a subordinated 80-hour week, living within 400 sq. ft. for 3X national-average rent, with vacuous pretty faces as hanger-ons - is our vapid hero. Grotesque and caricatured.

What to do know?

wailing

He wailed again and again, at the top of his lungs. Nothing, he claimed, was going his way.

They pushed from the back. He was losing control, of his footing, of his sanity, of his soul, of...of everything. He wanted belligerence, screaming and panting and drooling and barking and a bottle and straight animal behavior to clear his raging head. "FUCK!" But, alas, he now led this group down the hill. Was he really leading? Ah, the pressure!

"Drive them away," he thought to himself after deep breath to maintain composure. "Just drive them away!" he thought, inside his head, he swore. Inside his head, screaming and wailing...and probably near audible at this point. And so near tears and red-faced murderous rage - but straight-faced man he remained...

...until knees buckled and once poised adult but now raging animal monster lay crippled under the weight of those he once led.

older

And, now that you're older, can't you look back at past accomplishments and also ahead at potential better days with equal satisfaction and promise? Haven't you always been a hero and also an optimist? Haven't you learned to appreciate what you have and still may achieve? Have you not looked in the mirror ever and stared? Smirking sideways at the man you have become? Have you never looked up at the sky, head back, arms outstretched, eyes closed, and screamed at the sun? Owning the world and holding your future, finally understood, in the palm of your hand?

No.

Oh. So, so, hold on tight to these coming 480 or so months you have left, then. They are going to have to be your best. And be sure to dog-ear those special days somehow...because, fuck, you deserve that memory. And yours will soon fade.

Quote

"It was always the becoming he had dreamed of. Never the being." (F.Scott Fitzgerald, 'This Side of Paradise')