mania

The volume was way up. The song was in a really fucking cool frenzy. The piano and drums both just like charging full speed at you...a fullback right through your head from one ear to the other. "I'm in a mania right now!" I think he said then to his friend over the sound. Screamed right at him. His friend just nodded back. "No really, I'm manic!" His eyes were actually swirling circles.

This song. He had heard a thousand times before now. But never like this. He basically had started a serotonin drip - a needle hanging on his neck right out of his internal carotid. He picked up the entire apparatus on the interweb. IV needle and bag, drip chamber and black-market serotonin extracted directly from axon cell tissue of a live human brain. Feelings of well being and I think he was actually indifferently shitting himself. Passing the dump from sphincter to the underwear without second thought - like it was just the underwear's turn to hold it, the dump.

AF: Rebellion (lies) - enlarging his vulnerable skull and inducing defecation.

Moccasin slippers, a rabbit-fur-lined-bright-orange-hunting cap, a bandaid across his nose, a bandana around his neck (to cover the IV scars, presumably), a patchwork tweed jacket that was honestly more of an armed quilt, and gym shorts that said "CHEER" across the ass. And a total smug dick smile on his map. He was dressed for nonsense and indulgence.

Doctor's note: "Patient claims to be on his way to a funeral. Care must be taken."

Every time you close your eyes. Lies! Lies!

If he had one goal it was to live life borne of pure emotion. All else being haphazard...like yawns and blinking and ... and other such symbols of indifference and passivity, and worthy of ridicule and not of sweating yourself to sleep over and not of ground toothdust nor of bloodied fingertips nor of tight-fisted panic nor of elaborate complexities and defenses and those X's you wear over your eyes on most days, and actually more transparent but somehow darker than generally considered appropriate.

But that out of emotion...well, a mania, perhaps.