12 February 2011

the dick experiment

oh, oh. and so his boy had come up with this real-life social experiment which is based on the fact that the majority of the american public is scared of nothing more than a good old fashioned confrontation and that when faced with a pending actual confrontation, 90% will go out of their way to exude niceties in hopeful avoidance of the confrontation. and whether he, his boy, heard about it or came up with the idea from the Intro Psych adult-education courses he was taking or whether he was taking the adult-ed courses as a fuel to keep his effed up, as you'll see, mind fresh, is a different story. and so for example, stepping in front of another person in line, is rarely something that is challenged and is usually extremely easy to get away with, so long as one can overcome the initial misgivings about doing so. his boy wanted to take it to "a-whole-nuthah" level and dubbed his social test the dick experiment.

and there are demographic considerations of course: for example, conducting this type of experiment in a locale such as "Southie" is unsafe and will skew results from hypothesis. the american south (nee confederate states) and other pride- or irishman-heavy regions are also poor for observation.

and so back in high school, this same boy in the backyard of a crowded house party screamed to him "Hey, watch this!" just before jumping off the top of an old rotting chevy to dunk a basketball. the hoop came crashing down on top him and amid all the "oh shits" his boy proudly wails, "DID YOU SEE ME SHAQ THAT HOOP?" and went down on one knee, head straight back to pour a can of beer into his asoph. they finished off that night ripping license plates off of police cruisers.

and also this same boy, when they were younger even than high school would hide in trees to beckon down to whomever passed under "Hey, Boo-boo, is that a pic-a-nic basket?"...in an optimally annoying Yogi Bear voice.

this boy has a look best described as 'howling lab rat' by the way.

anyway, they're at the gym, our hero and his boy. working back to normalcy and adonisesque states of mind. his boy had just spotted him on the military but now is by the cardio machines telling the girl on the elliptical that she is very attractive but that it is a good thing that she is getting some cardio in and that he appreciates her doing that because there are just so many girls that balloon up around her age - he used that term, balloon up - and that she appears to be on the cusp of a very dangerous time in her life, a time when her body could just balloon up at any minute...he can just see it in her facial structure, that she could balloon up, he said...so keep at the cardio, walking away. this was the boy that he used to work out with back in high school and afterwards too; each of them bags of bones, soft skin just sort of laying on top of a skeleton, just four pointy straight arms jutting out of baggy T-shirts walking down the street, each of them with two thumb knuckles for ankles, body and shoulder structures like upright canoes...picture it, body-to-head ratios like someone drew a tether to the moon, standup oscillating fans the two of them. over in the corner his boy is caressing the sweaty forehead of a helpless balding man that is doing chest presses and at the same time pointing to the gentleman's shorts with his other hand, saying "Hey, Boo-boo, is that a pic-a-nic basket?"

-the dick experiment

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